It may be a small thing for most people, but I emptied the (clean) dishwasher, filled it with a sinkfull of dirty dishes, rinsed and set aside recyclables, and washed down the counter today. For me, knowing what the last week has been like, it was a big step.
I despise a dirty kitchen. In my mind, nothing says "I'm a slob" like dirty dishes and garbage all over the place. Not to call anyone else a slob. Just me. I'm the last person who should be judging others. So cleaning it is a very positive sign.
I've been taking the increased dose of my meds as mentioned here for just over a week now, and that's about right. It usually takes a week to notice a difference. Which means I might actually be climbing out of this thing.
It worries me to think that I usually go through one of these just prior to Pesach, too. Maybe I won't this time, but October, January, and late March are frequently difficult months. Maybe I should just plan to increase my meds in mid-March.
Will I still blog when I get (even temporarily) better?
Absolutely. Because it needs to be said that I'm not depressed all the time. I have hard weeks and even months, but it's not all the time. It's not forever. And I want to be able to honestly share what I'm like when I'm not under the influence of my unstable emotions.
That said, I still have one big issue that came up this time, one I really need to deal with before I go back to "normal" life and come out of my shell. It's still morning. Maybe I can write more about it yet today.
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1 comment:
I'm so glad you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. It sounds like you are able to get some perspective on the situation, that you can't when you arein the midst of the depression.
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