At loose ends

I had a horrible night. I hurt so much from yesterday and the uncertainty of this next week.

Hospitalization was looking more attractive, more necessary, until I checked our health insurance coverage and saw that we would need first to give the insurance company a 5 day advance notice for inpatient care unless it were a life or death emergency. And second insurance only covers 80%.

In 1995 the average daily cost in the United States for inpatient care at a behavioral health unit ran about $500 a day. Figure an increase of at least 20% over ten years (maybe much, much more) and we're talking about out of pocket expenses of at least $120 a day. If they change my meds rather than just the dosage, it takes 2-3 weeks to reach a therapeutic level, and they'd want me stabilized before I left. That means taking on a debt of at least $2000.

I can't do that to our family. Plus there are other issues, child care chief among them. I know the argument is that my life is worth more than $2000 but I can't justify the stress my family would be under to pay the bills, either. I'm hoping there is some other option. Or maybe the increase in my meds since Thursday will help before it gets to that point.